Saving France, it’s Your Civic Duty

October 29, 2009 – 7:27 am

Saving France because the French Can’t

France, once the cradle of European civilization. The country that put Romance into language, the creators of the finest food, wine, fashion, and culture- that which was the inspiration for all there is.

Once the Cradle of Civilization, Now a Basket Case

Where did we lose it? WWII shamed us. Was it our foray into Viet Nam? Is it our seemingly genetically encoded existential angst? Our ever increasing narcissism? Our long lunches? We have gone from the worlds largest economy to being not much larger than that of New Mexico.

No industry has been hurt more than le vin.

In 1920, the world population was 1.9 Billion, and France produced 61,861 million hectolitres of wine.

Currently, world population is 6.6 billion people, and France produces 43,000 million hectolitres of wine.

There are 165,000 hectares of grapes (equivalent to 80% of what is planted in California), being ripped out over the few couple of years. Le negoc du vin is going down le toilet.

I wouldn’t be asking you to help, if we could do it ourselves

So I realized that it would take someone like me, of my class, calibre, breed, sophistication, sex appeal, good looks, taste, wealth, generosity, distinction and virtue to reach out and offer my hand to my brothers. To lead my fellow countrymen out of the jungle of discontent and into the holy land of productive prosperity. Make them see the error of their ways and the possibility of what can be, if only they stop striking, put down their Gitanes, work longer hours, take shorter vacations, eat fewer baguettes avec le fromage, be nicer to tourists, and shower more often.

I need your help, the future glory of La France demands it! I ask that you simply leave a comment saying you want to save France, with your email and I will be in touch with the Saving France Rally and of course, le swag , etc.  Allons Enfants de la patrie! Mais oui!! Merci beaucoup.